(TURKISH JOURNAL) Psychologist-Gamze SEN – We live in a world that rewards composure and discourages vulnerability. From early childhood, many of us are subtly taught that expressing sadness, fear, or anger is a sign of weakness. So we smile when we’re not okay, say “I’m fine” when we’re falling apart, and convince ourselves that burying our emotions makes us strong. But neuroscience and psychology tell a very different story.
The Psychology of Suppression: What Happens When We Don’t Feel What We Feel?
Emotional suppression is a defense mechanism—a way the mind protects itself from pain, social rejection, or perceived danger. In psychoanalytic theory, repression and denial are unconscious processes, often rooted in early developmental experiences. Children who grow up in environments where emotional expression is unsafe or invalidated learn to internalize their feelings. These unexpressed emotions don’t disappear—they are stored in the body and nervous system, often showing up as chronic stress, anxiety, or even physical illness.
The Social Mask: “Performing Okay” in a Culture of Overfunctioning
In many cultures, especially high-performance or trauma-influenced environments, there’s a heavy emphasis on emotional self-control. Saying “I’m fine” becomes more than a polite response—it becomes a survival strategy. We perform “okay-ness” to maintain social acceptance, career stability, or relational peace. Over time, this social mask becomes a part of our identity, blurring the line between what we feel and what we pretend to feel.
The Cost of Chronic Suppression: Brain, Body, and Beyond
Studies in neurobiology reveal that chronic emotional suppression activates the stress response system. The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis is overstimulated, increasing cortisol levels and weakening the immune system. The vagus nerve, which plays a central role in calming the body after stress, becomes dysregulated. This leads to a constant state of hypervigilance or emotional numbness—both of which are common in individuals with trauma histories.
Somatic practitioners and trauma therapists often see the body “speak” the language of suppressed emotions—through muscle tension, gastrointestinal issues, migraines, or unexplained fatigue. What was once “just a feeling” now becomes a lived, embodied experience of distress.
Toward Authentic Expression: Healing Beyond Suppression
Healing begins when we create spaces—both internally and relationally—where emotions are safe to be felt, named, and released. This doesn’t mean emotional outbursts or losing control. It means tuning in, becoming curious about our inner world, and learning to regulate rather than repress. Techniques like somatic experiencing, breathwork, expressive writing, and trauma-informed therapy can help reconnect the mind with the body and make space for what was once hidden.
“I’m fine” may be a reflex—but it doesn’t have to be the whole truth. Beneath the surface, there’s often a reservoir of unmet needs, old griefs, and unspoken fears waiting not to be fixed, but to be witnessed.
